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    小小星辰

     如果把回忆折叠起来,如果把时间倒转开去。
          如果把青春拉扯回曾经仓促的形状,那么……
          好像人开始慢慢成长,就会慢慢地缅怀以前过去的种种。无论是失败,还是伟大的。苍白的,还是绚烂。都变成像是甘草桻一样,在嘴里咀嚼出新的滋味。甜蜜里是一些淡淡的苦涩,让人轻轻皱起眉头。
          但大多数回忆里的自己,都应该是浅薄而无知的,幼稚而冲动的。所以才会有很多很多的后悔萦绕在心里。但非常微妙的,却会对曾经这样的自己,产生出一种没有来由的羡慕和憧憬。
          好像现在我这样的年纪的人,就不太适合伤春悲秋了。也许人只有在年少轻狂的时候,才会那么放心大胆地展露自己的内心,脆弱的毛茸茸的表面,或者冷漠的光滑的内壁。将所有私人的情感和心绪,像是展展览一样盛大地呈现在别人的面前,博取别人的心酸同情,或者嗤鼻一笑,当时的理直气壮和信誓旦旦,在时光漫长的消耗里变成薄薄的一片叹息,坠落在地面上。那时的自己无限勇敢。
          而现在的自己,就像是我挂在包上的穿着钢筋盔甲的PRADA小熊,坚强的,刀枪不入的,讨人喜欢的模样,却远远地离开了世界尽头的那个自己。
          有些朋友到现在依然每在见面,有些却只能偶尔通个电话。大家都在时间里渐渐地成长改变,拥有了自己的生活,拥有了新的朋友圈子,拥有新的生活环境,新的工作,新的人生意义。
          于是也就没有多少人再去回过头探寻,当初的自己,怎么样走到了今天。
          曾经的自己,受不了分离,受不了孤单,受不了成长,受不了沮丧,受不了失望,受不了世俗,受不了虚假,受不了金钱。
           而现在的自己,却慢慢地习惯了这些。
           被失望拖进深渊,被疾病拉进坟墓,被挫折践踏得体无完肤,被嘲笑,被讽刺,被讨厌,被怨恨,被放弃。但是却总在内心里保留着希望,保留着不甘心放弃的跳动的心。依然在大大的绝望里小小的努力着,这种不想放弃的心情,它们变成无边黑暗的小小星辰。
           我们就是那些小小的星辰。  

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